Making a life worth living by making positive events happen yourself! That’s why I started my bucket list, but it’s not just about the list of things you want to do and picking something to do. For me it’s more about the whole mindset.
Yesterday was a great day, because I allowed myself to genuinely savor every moment. What stayed with me the most is the care people have for others. They don’t have to say they care, because if you watch closely and attentively you can notice.
I started the evening by visiting a friend to play Colonists of Catan. No time for teambuilding! I was determined to viciously win this game! No, I had a great time. I met some new people who are very funny and friendly and witnessed that this friend is really good-natured. When we talk I sense this impartiality and openess and that our thoughts on certain subjects, like coping with social circumstances, are pretty much in line. I must say he’s one of just a few who tends to reason without judgment and can if you ask him to . That and his caring (I believe I was prepped to survive a night out :p) made the evening begin good. If you read this: yes, I ate the apple after I went out and thanks for letting me come over!
As for the game, ofcourse I won! I’m the evilest player! Ok, ok, I had lots of luck ;). After the first round I observed a game. I do enjoy watching people play too. You can see these little fires burning in their eyes! I love that.
Around 1 am I attended the 3 year anniversary of event agency Give Soul. It’s a very different kind of audience than I’m used to, but it was worth a shot! I was there to have a good time with friends and not to be bothered by anyone. It was funny and interesting to see (here I go again, I need to observe everything) there was a big group of very young people, I believe 14 to 16, who were trying to show their dance moves. You could almost say they were ‘putting up a show’. I’m wondering if they were really busy enjoying their time or payed more attention to how they would look dancing. They probably did enjoy themselves, ofcourse, but it seemed like they gained energy out of that more than the music. BUT! These are just some interpretations I made when I saw them. For all we know it’s nowhere close to my thoughts. What I think I’m trying to say is that everything that you do, you should be doing for you and not for the eyes of others (:
At the party I met with some old friends too. And the things is, I may haven’t seen them in a very long time; they kept an eye on me anyway. Without explicitly saying you’re important to them, they show you with their actions. Since I payed so much attention to everything I was doing the whole day I noticed it moved me. Somehow even made me feel a little shy. I sometimes don’t know how to receive so many compliments, but I’m flatterd to know there are who people enjoy my company, don’t underestimate my strenght, care about my health and safety and think I am a beautiful person on the out- and inside. If any of the people I were with last night reads this: yes, this applies to all of you and I want to thank you. You lit me up <3
‘I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more..’ Yes, afterward I had to get home! I decided to walk to the nearest busstop for the Bob-buss (the too drunk to function-buss). When I parted with my friends I walked right up to the city. Oh, how I miss living here. I have always enjoyed the view. Theres some calmness in seeing places when there’s no one around. What’s normal by day, suddenly is beautiful, because you take some time to take it in. When I arrived at where the buss-stop should be, I did not find any info. I didn’t even know if I was in the right place! I could wait for a buss to come, if there was one to come or I could walk. Yes, eventually I walked 5,5 km to get home, but I didn’t mind. The further I got the more I realized my body was getting tired, but I also knew there would be a bedgasm (a feeling of euphoria experienced when climbing into bed after a long day) coming my way. Oh yes, I would sleep, allright. With no one around I started singing, because I could. Great feeling when no one’s listening! Being all relaxed also made my voice sound better than usual. Noticing that I think I’ve got to work on tension during practising.
Halfway home this guy asked if I needed a lift on his bicycle or if he needed to walk me home. It’s usually nothing for me to consent, but since my last experiences with meeting random people have turned out to be funny and quite allright I gave it a go. In the back of my head thinking of Australia. I’ll be traveling there alone and it can happen I may have to rely on some stranger there too. It actually was a nice occasion to practise! I set the boundaries clearly and had nothing more than a nonversation (smalltalk) in the end. Like as if you start a conversation with someone on the train. He understood my caution due to former negative experiences and so before I was near home we parted ways. I realized there are truly are some kind individuals meaning well out there.
So give soul to your existence by making the positive happen and most of all witness that there are already so much great things happening! It sets a good vibe for your own perception (: